He ain't heavy, he's my brother

My brother is 17. He likes video games, XBOX, Taco Bueno, Family Guy, doing impressions, talking in weird accents, and generally being an annoying little shit. And since he moved rooms since I've been away for college, we now share a wall. Thankfully, it's not the one I sleep next to, but we have a communal wall, none the less. Because he is an annoying little shit, he does his very best to try and make my life hell when we are both at home at the same time. Nine months out of the year, I can happily forget that I have a younger brother, and pretend that I am an only child.

Unfortunately, I have to come home for the summer.

That communal wall we share? He's got his TV next to it. So, since three days out of the week, I have to get up at 4:30 AM, he thinks it's funny to blast Rock Band, Halo, or Call of Duty all freaking night long. He doesn't go to bed until 4 AM, and wakes up at 1:30 PM. I get home from work at noon, and I go back to sleep at 1:30. What does he do? Plays his goddamn XBOX. I would very much like to take a sledgehammer to that stupid game system. Unfortunately, we don't own a sledgehammer.

I'd live at my dad's house if it wasn't for the fact that my dad literally has no food in his house, and I don't really want to share living space with my 25 year old cousin. It'd be a different story if he'd buy me liquor though...