My job makes me want to sterilize myself

I coach a swim team. Well, I'm one of 8 coaches anyway. We have six different practices, because there are over 500 kids on the team, and I'm usually stuck coaching 8 & under swimmers. Sometimes, this isn't bad. I usually get the more experienced kids who at least know how to swim. Four of my six classes aren't that bad. They act up every once in a while, but they're good kids, and I can have fun with them. My 10 AM and 6:45 groups however...

One of these days, I'm going to beat every last one of them with a kickboard.